well, if you insist.

And he’s like, “Fine, I’ll accept the idea that I perhaps shouldn’t have interrupted the quizmaster to dispute the existence of a second planet called Pluto, but honestly, Rose. That’s just — it’s just short-sighted is what it is. Arrogant, even. Only you humans could convince yourselves that you’re the only species to name something ‘Pluto.’ I can name seven different Plutos off the top of my deceptively-small-for-the-amount-of-knowledge-it-contains head. I mean, just listen to how fun it is to say, Plu-to. Plu-to. Of course another species would have stumbled across that combination! You lot liked it so much you even called a cartoon dog that!”

And she’s like, “Doctor, I believe you. Jake believes you. Everyone on our team believes you. And we like it that you know so much, I love it, even. Haven’t had to pay our tab at a quiz in months. But you know what else we all would like? Finding a place we can return to the following week. We’re gonna be well outside of driving distance if you keep this up.”

And then he’s like, “Why would we want to drive anywhere? If you’d just let me stay home and work, we might get the TARDIS operational sooner and then I could take you to a pub quiz on Pluto. And you can bet no one there would challenge me on the existence of more than one planet called Earth because, well, because they’re a very submissive people, don’t like confrontation, the New Plutonians, but also because they’re not so closed-minded!”

And then eventually they’re home and you just lie there, Rose, and you’re the universe now, and here’s a Pluto, just to the side of your knee, and here’s one behind your ear, here’s one high up on your bicep and:

“Doctor, what about here?” and arching her hips.

“No, no, there’s not one there.”

“You sure? You sure it just hasn’t been discovered yet?” and arching her eyebrows.

“Ah, yes, yes, discovery, very important for, um, discoveries.”

And there’s a freckle there called Pluto now and it’s his favorite one.