This weekend we also went swimming for the first time this season, and Flynn was not having it. This is from last year’s weekend adventures where Flynn went swimming for first time ever: See how she’s not melting down? That is the OPPOSITE of what happened this year. See how she’s calm and safe and seemingly content? I need you to imagine instead, this year, that our entire time in the pool was soundtracked like when they play ‘Murder Train’ on How I Met Your Mother. There are no pictures from the meltdowns because we were all trying to get out alive. ALSO FLYNN PAINTED ME A FRAME FOR MOTHER’S DAY AT DAYCARE AND MY HEART GREW SO MANY SIZES IT’S ACTUALLY BIGGER THAN MY BODY NOW.

This weekend we also went swimming for the first time this season, and Flynn was not having it.

This is from last year’s weekend adventures where Flynn went swimming for first time ever:

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See how she’s not melting down? That is the OPPOSITE of what happened this year. See how she’s calm and safe and seemingly content? I need you to imagine instead, this year, that our entire time in the pool was soundtracked like when they play ‘Murder Train’ on How I Met Your Mother. There are no pictures from the meltdowns because we were all trying to get out alive.

ALSO FLYNN PAINTED ME A FRAME FOR MOTHER’S DAY AT DAYCARE AND MY HEART GREW SO MANY SIZES IT’S ACTUALLY BIGGER THAN MY BODY NOW.

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MOTHER’S DAY!  Alphonse with that flower in his mouth, like, I want to get that picture printed on a sheet cake and sent to his work.  These are the photos from Mother’s Day last year, which means this is my second Mother’s Day, and that is ridiculous. 

MOTHER’S DAY! 

Alphonse with that flower in his mouth, like, I want to get that picture printed on a sheet cake and sent to his work. 

These are the photos from Mother’s Day last year, which means this is my second Mother’s Day, and that is ridiculous. 

Those are some bitchin' tube socks.
- Anonymous

DON’T MOCK ME ANON, THOSE TUBE SOCKS ARE LITERALLY SIX YEARS OLD, AND THEY NETTED ME ALPHONSE!

THOSE ARE THE SOCKS AND THE SHORTS I MET HIM IN (holler American Apparel circa 2007), HE IS LITERALLY IN THE BACKGROUND OF THAT LEFT PHOTO IN A TERRIBLE OUTFIT SIX YEARS AGO, AND THEY PLAYED TRAMPOLINE DODGEBALL IN 2010 AND CRUSHED IT AND THEN TODAY THEY SUPPORTED THE GUN SHOW OK

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Wait, maybe you were being serious in which case: YES, THANK YOU. :D :D :D

We just got completely slaughtered at kickball, but CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS TODDLER-DRIVEN GUN SHOW I HAVE GOING ON I AM GOING TO CALL THEM THE DOCTOR AND ROSE AND IF I CROSS MY ARMS I CAN MAKE THEM KISS

We just got completely slaughtered at kickball, but CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS TODDLER-DRIVEN GUN SHOW I HAVE GOING ON

I AM GOING TO CALL THEM THE DOCTOR AND ROSE AND IF I CROSS MY ARMS I CAN MAKE THEM KISS

OUTFITS! Of a super haphazard nature! 1.) Levi’s striped button-up (Alphonse’s) + Levi’s + Cambridge Satchel ‘batchel.’ (I took this picture this way because the day before this, I clocked a small child in the head with my bag at Flynn’s school, and I felt like I should be aware of that.) 2.) J.Crew plaid button-up (also Alphonse’s. IT WAS THE WEEKEND OK) + Cotton On leggings + Ray-Ban wayfarers, but also glasses + who knows where that hat is from but it also belongs to Al + toddler, Jamie and Al brand. 3.) J.Crew striped button-up, FROM COLLEGE YET + Levi’s. 4.) American Apparel cardigan + J.Crew sequined tank top + Levi’s. 5.) J.Crew striped tunic + Gap camisole + Levi’s. 6.) Topshop (well, Topman) cardigan + Converse tank top + Levi’s. I didn’t realize I’ve only been taking the elevator at work in the mornings lately, so I’m in my ‘rolling into my desk’ accessories: Ray-Bans on top of my head, TARDIS bag full of Pepsi, that Cambridge Satchel, and a desire to be back on my couch on the internet.

OUTFITS! Of a super haphazard nature!

1.) Levi’s striped button-up (Alphonse’s) + Levi’s + Cambridge Satchel ‘batchel.’ (I took this picture this way because the day before this, I clocked a small child in the head with my bag at Flynn’s school, and I felt like I should be aware of that.)

2.) J.Crew plaid button-up (also Alphonse’s. IT WAS THE WEEKEND OK) + Cotton On leggings + Ray-Ban wayfarers, but also glasses + who knows where that hat is from but it also belongs to Al + toddler, Jamie and Al brand.

3.) J.Crew striped button-up, FROM COLLEGE YET + Levi’s.

4.) American Apparel cardigan + J.Crew sequined tank top + Levi’s.

5.) J.Crew striped tunic + Gap camisole + Levi’s.

6.) Topshop (well, Topman) cardigan + Converse tank top + Levi’s.

I didn’t realize I’ve only been taking the elevator at work in the mornings lately, so I’m in my ‘rolling into my desk’ accessories: Ray-Bans on top of my head, TARDIS bag full of Pepsi, that Cambridge Satchel, and a desire to be back on my couch on the internet.

I like your weekend adventures tag because your fiance is hot.
- Anonymous

I ALSO FEEL THAT WAY, ANON, BUT IT’S ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE VALIDATION (???) LET’S REVISIT LAST WEEK’S WEEKEND ADVENTURE TRIUMPH, BECAUSE GOOD NEWS: STILL NOT SICK OF THIS PICTURE YET

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Today’s weekend adventure post didn’t really go anywhere, except when we were leaving my parents’ house, I took a picture of Al’s butt

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and Flynn was not pleased about it

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My brother is home from his freshman year at college for the summer! And is somehow even skinnier than when he left. Obviously the goal is to feed him, which leads to: this popcorn places down the street puts liquid nitrogen on the popcorn, and it goes all smoky and cold and it is awesome. They also put white chocolate, Nerds, and Pop Rocks on it, so that’s like a bonus.  Also, Flynn is finally proving that she is, in fact, my daughter.

My brother is home from his freshman year at college for the summer! And is somehow even skinnier than when he left. Obviously the goal is to feed him, which leads to:

this popcorn places down the street puts liquid nitrogen on the popcorn, and it goes all smoky and cold and it is awesome. They also put white chocolate, Nerds, and Pop Rocks on it, so that’s like a bonus. 

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Also, Flynn is finally proving that she is, in fact, my daughter.

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OUTFIT TIME! 1.) SXSW + Gap t-shirt, Levi’s. 2.) J.Crew keeper chambray shirt, Levi’s. 3.) J.Crew striped painter boatneck tee, Levi’s. 4.) Brooks Brothers checked oxford (although the pattern doesn’t appear because it is way light), Levi’s. 5.) J.Crew ribbon stripe boatneck tee, Levi’s. 6.) Gap blouse, J.Crew schoolboy blazer, J.Crew ‘Minnie’ pant. AND A BONUS PHOTO, because, good grief, my farmer’s tan came out swinging this year, and it’s only gotten worse since May started. This is what happens with 3/4-length sleeves and my skin.

OUTFIT TIME!

1.) SXSW + Gap t-shirt, Levi’s.

2.) J.Crew keeper chambray shirt, Levi’s.

3.) J.Crew striped painter boatneck tee, Levi’s.

4.) Brooks Brothers checked oxford (although the pattern doesn’t appear because it is way light), Levi’s.

5.) J.Crew ribbon stripe boatneck tee, Levi’s.

6.) Gap blouse, J.Crew schoolboy blazer, J.Crew ‘Minnie’ pant.

AND A BONUS PHOTO, because, good grief, my farmer’s tan came out swinging this year, and it’s only gotten worse since May started. This is what happens with 3/4-length sleeves and my skin.

Flynn has discovered that Rex is both in her hands, and on the television. Alphonse dunks cookies into a Spider-Man cup full of milk, while intently watching The West Wing. (He’s on ‘Liftoff,’ which I made the mistake of asking, for the sake of information in this post, and then he told me about it for five minutes, and how he doesn’t think CJ is going to stay on long as chief of staff, and how Jimmy Smits was in the opening credits, even though he’s never been on the show, and how he thinks they’re going to bring Jimmy Smits on as chief of staff at the end of the episode.  I have no idea what’s happening, but I’m glad Leo’s not dead. Wait, Jimmy Smits has just appeared, and Al is revising his theory.) Wednesdays, right. 

Flynn has discovered that Rex is both in her hands, and on the television.

Alphonse dunks cookies into a Spider-Man cup full of milk, while intently watching The West Wing. (He’s on ‘Liftoff,’ which I made the mistake of asking, for the sake of information in this post, and then he told me about it for five minutes, and how he doesn’t think CJ is going to stay on long as chief of staff, and how Jimmy Smits was in the opening credits, even though he’s never been on the show, and how he thinks they’re going to bring Jimmy Smits on as chief of staff at the end of the episode.  I have no idea what’s happening, but I’m glad Leo’s not dead. Wait, Jimmy Smits has just appeared, and Al is revising his theory.)

Wednesdays, right. 

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Lazy Saturday afternoon, followed by a Saturday evening where my parents watched Flynn so we could go to the “foodie fest,” and where the relevant parts were that the best beer I could find in the whole place was Fosters???? But then preceding that was a giant potato on a skewer covered in truffle oil, so, you know: swings and roundabouts. There was a White Castle truck, like, actual White Castle, and we don’t have those here, and they announced the wait when we were leaving and it was FOUR TO FIVE HOURS. For WHITE CASTLE. I have never been that high in my entire goddamn life. FOUR TO FIVE HOURS.

Lazy Saturday afternoon, followed by a Saturday evening where my parents watched Flynn so we could go to the “foodie fest,” and where the relevant parts were that the best beer I could find in the whole place was Fosters????

But then preceding that was a giant potato on a skewer covered in truffle oil, so, you know: swings and roundabouts.

There was a White Castle truck, like, actual White Castle, and we don’t have those here, and they announced the wait when we were leaving and it was FOUR TO FIVE HOURS. For WHITE CASTLE. I have never been that high in my entire goddamn life. FOUR TO FIVE HOURS.